Trust & Obey

Kerri Rawson thought she grew up in a normal house, with a normal brother, and normal parents. Totally average childhood. All of that was shattered when she was notified her father was arrested for the murder of multiple people and being the BTK serial killer. She couldn’t believe it. Her father was a good man, he loved his family, participated in their local church, and had a steady job. How could he have done this?

In this autobiography, Rawson dives into the events leading up to and the horrifying discovery that her father, Dennis Radar, was a sick and twisted killer. He was known as BTK because he would Bind Torture and Kill. She takes us through her childhood, adolescents, college, to marriage all with her father by her side. She presents you with an image of him that makes you wonder; how could those things be true? She shows pictures, letters, and writes of conversations she had with her father throughout her life and presents a very sincere and painful picture. Rawson has no fear discussing the heartbreaking journey she has trudged through and saying what needs to be said.

If you’re a true crime fan, then you will definitely like this novel. This isn’t extremely violent or nasty, even though Dennis Radar had a very dark side, so if you have a delicate stomach I would go for it! It’s very honest but she shields you from the gruesome details of the killings. She gives you more broad strokes, but that doesn’t mean there’s no discussions of the trials or the victims’ deaths. If you haven’t ever tried true crime novels this would be a great start. I haven’t read many, if any at all, and it was a great dip into the crime genre.

However, this book struggled to hold my attention for the first half of the story. I think knowing what was coming made me want to burn through until I reached the part where Radar was arrested. This background information was crucial though and I understood why she spent so long on life with her family. It made the climax of her story far more personal and up close. It didn’t feel like some creep getting arrested but rather someone’s husband, son, brother, and father. Besides that, we do get into the pit of despair with Rawson as she goes into the trauma and overall dark feeling she now has about her childhood. Almost like a shadow is presiding over her memories. The betrayal of her father taints her life and she goes into that quite a bit, which can make this a heavy read at times.

I would not recommend that you research the BTK killings and look at news articles. I found it was very disturbing and hard to read, especially because one killing involved children. After looking into the case, I am pleased she didn’t go into it. It’s very dark and overpowering. It would have over taken the emotional betrayal that Rawson experienced.

All in all, I did like this book! I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to spend hours piecing together her story to create a book all about her life’s worst moment. She did a good job telling you her story in a personal way and each page had an intention. By the end of the book, you don’t know her solely based on her affiliation with her father. She’s not just a serial Killer’s daughter, she is Kerri Rawson.

Have you ever read true crime books? If so tell me about it in the comments section!